Hootin' and a Hollerin'

Saturday night was probably the most fun I've had in a really long time. Some gals from the ol' law school house threw a Western themed party at their house. A real barn-burner. Took my little missy over and we got all decked out in our finest cowboy attire. Dang we looked fine! I wore a borrowed cowboy hat and my most redneck shirt, accessorized with a great longhorn texas necktie made from my finest aluminum foil and my crappiest shoelace. Also had a belt buckle (foil again) in the shape of the great state of Texas. Well it actually looked more like a piece of crumpled foil but at least it kept the aliens from stealing my cell phone signals.

My gal was as hot as a Houston heatwave wearing an authentic Texan hat and boots. She looked like one of them Country Music stars but without the twangy guitar riffs and incestuous lyrics. Sorta like a less white trash Daisy Duke.

We done did some line dancing - which was good except for the noted absence of Achey Breaky Heart. Line dancing ain't line dancing unless I gets me some Billy Ray Cyrus. Also played us some old fashioned texas hold 'em on a beyootiful poker table. Lost my shirt to some females - I say I can never show my face in that saloon again. (The greatest picture coming as soon as I figure out how to post 'em.)

Then after losing count of the drinks - the little lady matched me shot for shot throughout the night - we saddled up and hit the ol' dusty trail. More fun awaited us at the ranch when my cowgirl's stomach tossed it's alcoholic riders like a buckin' bronco at a rodeo. She felt a lot better after that and we rode off into the sunset filling in the gaps in each others memories the next day.

And yes, I spoke like a retarded cowboy the entire fucking night. This night will definitely come back to haunt me when one day when I'm representing Big Oil down in the Lone Star State. But it was worth it! YEEEEEE HAWWW!!



She told him that if he played his cards right he might win her pot.
Unfortunately, he didn't know what to do with his hand. He wouldn't
raise and she didn't wait to see the flop.